October 22 - Keeping the faith

"Faith is the center of the target for trials." All throughout the Word we learn that our faith is refined in this way. There is a special passage I share with my Pinky buddy in 2 Timothy and it was the subject of today's 2nd paragraph. I found it "GOD" because the last two nights, I have asked my hubby to read me the book of 2 Timothy. Again, as I read today's devotion, that VERY 2nd Timothy song by the Sons of Korah was playing on my iPod (out of a list of about 100 songs). So there you have it, three confirmations on this 2nd Timothy passage, "I have fought the good fight. I have finished the course. I have kept the faith." And by that, I do not mean that I have done these things, but that such prayer TO DO these is imperative. That when the time comes, this can be said with confidence, with Paul.

Thank God that Jesus prays for us to keep the faith! I doubt we could otherwise. We are sifted in a sieve as today's verse confirms. A second "God"... yesterday I read p. 172 of Beside Still Waters entitled Sifted in a Sieve. It talked about how this refining produces a brave and hardy race. "Whether rich or poor, we must look on our present condition as a test in which God would make known to us whether we are solidly in Christ and in the work of the Holy Spirit or just superficial professors having a name to live, but who are dead." Ouch. But so important to really count the cost of our temperament...His purpose or our sin? Is His work being accomplished in you?

"Faith must be tried, and seeming desertion is the furnace..."
-Spurgeon

The Psalmist often spoke of God's seeming absence. Desertion. I feel it often. When I sink into the depths of depression, I feel so alone...helpless...and hopeless. Two days ago, I thought, how can I do this godly?! I was exasperated and sick of myself. It is a horrid thing to be sick of the very person that you are. That is when I asked my hubby to read to me 2 Timothy. Paul says that God gives us a sound mind. A sound mind. A sound mind.

It is odd that in my darkest hours, I find it difficult to read two words together, let alone sentences. So I think, I must rely on my spotty memory to fall on His Word...but then my memory fails because I cannot think in such a fog. And so, a few phrases cut the thick darkness, and I cling to them...

...He has not given us a spirit of darkness but a sound mind...
...Where does my help come from, my help comes from the Lord...
...In Him who is my strength...

And, through prayer, and the prayer of those that love me, I fumble through another day...clinging to phrase and faith.

Sept. 10 - Purpose

"the Lord will fulfill His purpose for me"

I found today's reading in Psalms 138, very encouraging. I admit I have been a worrier as of late. I have worried over any and every detail...and I must say that it is exhausting to do so. I think that I get very frustrated when I don't get my way. How sad that I am still in such a 'toddler' state of mind.

I seem to take on the pain of others and feel devastated. On one hand, I know that it is this deep concern that turns me to the cross in prayer. But it is a fine line to watch; are my eyes turned toward Him or are they turning inward...toward my own strength? It is easy to get caught up into thinking that there is more I can do, or should do. I had a counselor once tell me, "Oh...you 'should' on yourself." Should can be a very dangerous word when used out of God's context. I should pray; I not be discouraged.

...for let the circumstances be what they may, it seeks only for God and His will, and it feels assured that God is making everything in the universe, good or bad, past or present work together for its good.

Oh, the blessedness of being absolutely conquered."

Please join me in praying for my dear, sweet friends as one prepares for a double mastectomy on the 16th (less than a week from now) and the other nears the one year anniversary of her hubby's death in this world and his entrance into the Kingdom of God.

Pray for me to be supportive and submissive to God's will...that I will not fight for control, but acquiesce to His will. Thanks you.