Turns out I can't limit God

I'm totally with M. There really is nothing too hard for the Lord, including my unbelief. When I had almost decided that He just didn't exist, God held onto me. I was (and still am sometimes) the "double-minded" person that James is so hard on in James 1:5-8. James says I'm supposed to ask God for wisdom "in faith, without any doubting," and that the person who doubts ought not to expect anything from the Lord. This passage pretty much terrified me. But God is generous in my weakness. From my perspective, as a doubter I had no right to expect that God would bless me with wisdom or faith. But it wasn't about what I had a right to expect, it was about the power and love and tenacity of God. My serious leaning toward the idea that God didn't exist at all looked like a huge barrier from my side, but to God it was just a pebble on the sidewalk. He kicked it away. Sometimes I rebuild that unbelief-barrier like an idiot, and He kicks it away again. I believe now that He'll always hold onto me. I've tried, and I can't limit God.